St. Paul's Carnival

On friday the 3rd July I had been invited to the home of one of my P.T. Clients (I work for a gym when not trying to be Felix Dennis*). The beer was great and I'd forgotten what it was to be in non student (well young professional company) i.e. the beers were served in glasses that had been bought and not smuggled like E.T. (under that t-shirt) from a pub beer garden. Obligatory, was a copy of The Lash. This went to the Cousins of my Patron: Seelva and Sevahn, both at the end of their European 'vacation'.  Obviously banter with any Amercia is guns (i.e. our populace is not armed to the teeth) especially those from The South. Sevahn had said that her dad feared for her safety at university and so had suggested a gun....I now definitely fear for her safety with a gun and armed with a copy of The Lash. I'd love to have footage of Yee'ha (Pg. 53) played by Texans. Please post to 'Cabonca' (a.k.a me) on Utube!

*Millionaire owner of Dennis Publishing a.k.a. Maxim Mag. + PC Mags. Made his money strangly from being a Bruce Lee buff. 

Saturday. Bristol at it's best! Grimmy and out there. ST PAULS CARNIVAL!!!! If you've never been, it's a must to know what Bristol is all about.  I made my way down to Portland Sq. for 6ish in bright sunshine bottle of wine in one hand and copy of The Lash in the other.  Me and the peeps (the cast from the book + illustrator and assorted friends) sat together on the grass. As always I was on the Business...taking copies of the book over to other groups in the square.  I even boss out a game for some complete randoms using my wine as the fine. They must have thought WTF! MOst of the rest of the night is a blur....I managed to get my bag nicked (well i left it on the street and when returned it wasn't there), so someone in St. Paul's has 6 copies of The Lash and 100 flyers....hope they appreciate art (lol.), plus generally I spent the next 6-8 hours raving to Drum and Bass, eating Jurk* Chicken and swilling Red Stripe!

*A type of spiced flavoring from Jamaica

The following Wednesday 15th Saw me do a deal with Merchant news near the Youth Hostel and Arnolfini on the Water front.  The sell started well as I walked in a met at the counter a passed customer I'd randomly sold too in Bottoms Up on the Gloucester Rd.  It seemed to good to be true and I suspected the proprietor smelt a set up.  Cutting to the chase he took 10 copies after very little persuasion and even wanted flyers and posters.  So if your on Bristol Harbor side anytime soon get down Merchant News as it is the Cheapest place to get a copy of The Lash in the shops!

 

My brothers Stagg

If you had a brother that wrote the ultimate guide to getting battered you'd think you'd be more careful than to do anthing as silly as get married...but clearly love is blind! In any case with the group of so-called-friends that my brother knows his little brother was the least of his worries. The stagg do was to be in West Wales were we considered it hightly likely that the lovely welsh locals would love twenty or so English lads in fancy dress robbin' their women and drinking there pubs dry.

We rocked up at the Mexican Hostel (Pantyrathro International Hostel & Mexican Bar) near Carmarthen. The priporitors name was Ken Knuckles which rhymed with my brothers nickname buckles. The hostel was well set up for Stagg dos with stark large tables perfect for Lashing on (i.e. big with loads of chairs and old enough not worry about damaging). The first drinking game that evening was one not in The Lash which basiscally utilised the a kids game called Topple (comparible to Jenga) to which we added drinking fines. The stadard fine for making the game pieces topple was a half of cider. The stagg do duely assembled and we decided that we'd eat at the hostel before heading into town. It was a large group and so there was only one thing for it...The Animal Kingdom (see pg. 130 of The Lash). The last time I had bossed this out was on a 21st in Dublin in 2007. A hit then and a hit now..great banter and team dynamics building.

This certainly got things off to a flyer and soon people were buying outragous shots and we'd not even hit town. From what I can remember of Carmarthen that first night I had an awesome time...pulling girls onto the dance floor and dancing like on a podium in Ibiza.

Next day....nursing hangovers the kill or cure was coasteneering! Forget water, coffee, or some avocardo smoothy, jumping off rocks inot the Irish sea cannot be beaten for it's medicinal properties! Paintballing in the afternoon that day led to the traditional gauntel run for the stagg! At this moment I realised that my brotherly love for Bungle (a.k.a. Ba'ho/Simon) was more caring than I antisipated...it kicked in after three seconds which saw him take aproximately hundred paintballs at point blank range. In his compulsory Super Woman costume he looked like he had a particularly virrial skin complaint.

The Sat night of lash saw us play Group Three In A Row Coin Flip (see drinking games tab at http://www.thelash.eu/) This was a new one on me and a new great for any subsequent book. We were all dressed as superheroes and there were some magic appearences incl. Duff man, Iron Man and Banna Man. I made everyone take the obligitory promotional photos with The Lash banner and even Ken Knuckles wanted some of our action cracking out his camera. The highlight of the eveing was doing a superhero parade in a Whetherspoons judge by some local girls and having a dance off with army girl hen night in Savannahs. I managed to end the night shoeless, thunderbird outfit devestated, completely lost and on my own! I rank it as one of the best!

The Peak district is beautiful. I highly recommended to all. I was honored to be invited to the Wedding of Martin (family friend) and Annette in Buxton. There was loads of family and friends there and was a fab. event. I did feel like a impostor/'non-believer' having come with no 'date' and no real prospect of 'girlfriend' on horizon. Being married to The Lash doesn't really count so I was grouped with the expectable form of bachelor, those which are married to Her Majesties Armed Forces. So it was me, Andrew (Calvary: 9th/12th Royal Lancers (Prince of Wales)) and Dave (RAF) fighting of that fat curlery a haired thing with the bow....who seemed to be menacing the event! No single brides maids didn't help our cause!
Andrew started off a trend of ordering 'Moscow Mules': (Double Vodka , Ginger Beer and Angistira Bitters) which continued all night. He also taught me a few drinking games from the Calvary which; whilst he explained, I thought, how the fuck can normal people afford the volume and type of drink preposed! They're now jotted down for a day I'm not a poor entrepreneur! We hit-up the local night club suited and booted! I was the last to leave after trying my luck with a particularly fine (large in terms of of athletic build...I was out of my depth!) Polish girl. When I returned to my Hotel I found that I'd lost the key code for the night door...fuck! After a panic which turned me into a cat burglar and a walk half way round Buxton I was lucky enough to find myself tucked up in The Palace, Buxton (a very fine hotel) with Andrew the Calvary officer! Turning up at Breakfast in the same clothes I had gone to the Wedding in was particularly typical of me!

The old dog @ old boyz

The Last weekend of May saw my brother suit fitting (23 May) and another Downs (park in Bristol) mission. Unfortunately when you see every sunny day as an opportunity to promote in parks your running the risk of never enjoying a sunny day. So sunday night after my 112 miles on The Tour of Wessex I ensured I didn't promote but join my housemates in the chilled out surroundings of St. Andrews Park.
Weekend of 30/31st i returned to the roots in Olveston (a small village north of Bristol). People from Olveston are a little funny....there seems to be a massive magnet contained in the bell tower of the village church and every 'Olvestonian' is emplaned from birth with a piece of metal in their head. Consequently I saw many old friends.
The weekend of the 6th June is a biggy! Old boyz!!!! (check out the Utube video Old Boyz ) Chance to come back and live for one night only as the legend you once were! "FRANK THE TANK, FRANK THE TANK!!!"
Old boyz are commonly goaded with "Old nick would have done it!" and "We used to know you"
This was a huge business trip for me! I managed to get through 70 mins of Rugby with only minor facial reconfiguration. I saw Rugby Union (Thanks to Goffy) for a great promotional photo, Men's Footy (Thanks to ex-house mate Toby), Waterpolo (various connections) and Womens Rugby (via some ill-conceived sexual conquests). Jimmy (Ex 1st team capt.) had threatened to give me a shot of 'Unicum' (very nasty Baileys like drink) every time I mentioned the book. This went out of the window due to the sheer scale of my Lash Blasphemies. I did however get fined for leaving the court table to strip off my clothes with The Waterpolo capt. Kosh. Me and Kosh go back along way and our tour to Spain is the stuff of Uni legend...not bad for someone that can't even play Waterpolo!

Ouch! Bike crash and The Cider Chief

In the week after The Hill event I made a sale to a Stagg (no not a hoofed beast). Just imagine the scene "here best-man, the define guide to getting me battered!" either he wasn't entirely convinced his best-man was up to the job or the guy is a sadist. The bender that ensued took in Plymouth and Newquay twice over a 48 hour period...well done sir and best of luck
I am a self confessed cycle menace however before until Saturday 16th May I had only one other serious crash (careering into the back of a stationary VW Golf on a steep hill). My bike gets me everywhere as I don't have a car to call my own. For the most part it much quicker to get around than a car so it seems silly to invest in a slower form of transport. However it is f**kin dangerous and my wake up call last weekend proved it. I was going down Hill fast (you get 20-30mph on a top spec. racer when going downhill). I lent into a corner I've done a thousand times (not looking) and there was a car coming up, what was, due to park cars either side, a single lane road. I had no where to go than on the deck eventually ending up under the front of the car. Can't remember much other than jumping straight back up apologizing and heading on. Later I saw the damage. I'd split open my speed suit and gashed my left leg. Great! In true Casey fashion I decided to turn this mishap into jackass style entertainment stripping off in my flat kitchen pouring iodine on the wound (check out DIY nursing) whilst my housemates looked on...v. funny but I think I was in shock! I definitely when from high to low later as the usual happy KC (Casey) was like a Dementor* sucking the life out of the room when 209A had a visit from Cardiff Uni. Race Team ski team mover and shaker Gem Argyle. The prospect of a attractive Uni. sports girl especially one so connected is usually the cue for over the top marketing, s**t chat etc...but I was definitely off form and sent myself home from the pub. I was The Lash impostor!
*Ghost/Succubus type creature from Harry Potter, who sucks the souls from it's victims.
On Sunday psycho Peacy (a.k.a. dad) was good enough to pick me up from Halfords (bike was in a bad way after crash). I used the opportunity to do some debt collecting. Unhappy at the best of times, Peacy was over the moon to go on a merry dance around Bristol picking up outstanding book and event money. He was like uninterested version of Dog The Bounty Hunter abet with a ginger barnet. I' m sure he could see the irony as I owe him some big £ for help getting the book published (see Origins - A labour of Lash). Jimmy always said "Mummy bought you your company Poochy**" as he knew I was proud I did it myself..I suppose he was right I did borrow some money (a fraction of what I spent of creating The Lash and at a great interest rate! 0% forever!) and this is why I must make The Lash a success because I'd never forgive myself not paying it back ASAP.
**a term of endearment in The Birmingham Rugby League Club for me...Started on Brumski in 2005 by Stebbo a.k.a Nick Stebbings.
Didn't let the leg stop me training or getting the book out there. Picked up some posters for The Lash and continued taking sample copies round to local pubs. Now The Hill, The Sportsman and The Golden Lion all have a poster and free sample copy to give out to customer over the bar. If your reading this and know anywhere that would take a poster get in contact with me via the contact tab.
I've now sent off the book to W H Smith so see If we can win a slot on there Christmas promotional budget and also I'm hoping Kurki Sports Birmingham take some copies as I'd love the book in the place I learnt my trade...The heart of University Sport Birmingham. I've also just ordered some more copies from Lightening Source my printers so please get the summer Lash on and buy your copy now! (buy now The Lash £8.99 free P & P)
Last Thursday I joined the boyz at pro 5*** football is not really my thing (rugby boy, through and through) but it was a great opportunity to talk to some lads about The Lash. It was there I found myself talking to The Cider Chief. If I've every seen a sale this was it....a big lad - to say the least (but fair play, rocking out the footy) in a polo shirt that read "The Cider Chief, Chief, Chief". I was telling him about The Venus Lash trap (Venus Lash Trap) when it came round to my turn at the bar. I turned round without thinking and ordered a hot chocolate and half a larger. I could see the cider Chief was not impressed and my sale evaporated in front of my eyes!
***Five-a-side football at The Wise Campus, Filton College, Bristol

A week of promo.

Bank holiday Monday saw me undertake a 15 hour Spin at David Lloyd Westbury Bristol (my daytime employer) in aid of WellChild and in training for our crazy cycle event Ride of my life. I managed 12 hours with 'breaks' to take the Dl Kids for sports! Christopher Hole did the complete 15 hours Chris Hole The 10pm plunge pool after a day in the saddle was bliss! My diet as always was elite...Pt. Guinness and chocolate brownie, when will I learn!
tuesday was the UWE and Bristol Uni. Varsity game. An oppertunity to promote not to be missed. I cover my shifts and headed just up the road to the Memorial stadium filton Av. to wait for the student feeding frenzy. Base camp was Granma Remmingtons (my friend Gracey Gran) house just outside the ground. Granny was good enough to let me leave my bike at hers whilst me and Grace hit the streets...well literally out the front door and right 50 yards! It was v. cold but thanks to what I saw as a rather fetching cycling jacket I was tip top and warm (see Flyering at Varsity) Varsity was great but we decided that we liked UWE student more than Bristol...I do remember being that arrogant rugby cock at Birmingham Uni so I had a little more patience than Grace for The Cugga-Rugga-Buggers*!
*characterized by Jack Wills, Old Boy Ties, "Pipe down", "Chin it Fresher" and big hair!
On Wednesday I was shattered the Spin and Flyering had taken it's toll. My manager Andrew Dent had said "you're the ultimate burn the candles at both ends guy" and it was true I was maxin' out Team Casey**
**The name my close friends give me cos I seems to always be on a mission fit for a team of people
I still managed to make it in for my freelance kid work (teaching sports) where I was handed a gem of info by Sam the receptionist. A huge student night was in the offing at Proganda. I though fu*k it i'll be there and check out the craic. So when a early night was a prerequisite I found myself outside the well light Money Shop near syndicate night club trying to peddle my wears!
Thursday and Friday were a wash-out both work and weather-wise so the next Team Casey** outing was Saturday. I thought of heading up to The Downs again as it had been so productive the weekend before but i'd convinced myself it was too windy (I think really I needed a rest). Bollox. to that! I manned up made a few phone calls as was soon sat in the heart of student living (a student Halls in the centre of town) with a Guy called Flash, who has contact to The UWE Student President and also The White Heart let alone access to a massive party Hall of students! WHat a legend.... Whilst in the Hall did the most unscrupless bit of marketing corning some fresher in a lift...they had the whole ride down to listen to my spiel! After this I headed up to Clifton to see my friend Alex who birthday it was...I was very pleased to see my illustrator Lucy Lucy Oldfield's Website (Check out her website she's fantastic! We ended up at the Old Duke pub on Welshback which that night was a bit 'edgy' as apparently there had been quite a lot of thievery before we got there.
Sunday was the big Day The Hill Lash. I was shitting it as I'd put so much effort into organizing and promoting. It wasn't exactly the huge promo. event hoped for but the thing that gave me heart was it was great to see my friend out in force. Ruth Pullin who has number 1 copy of The Lash even emailed me after the event with a well though out marketing ploy...you can't put a price on friends like that. Check out The legendary Lash Case Race
Next time: Wake up call for The Bristol Cycle menace as nick crashes his bike at high speed.

Nick gets Militant on Flyering

Tuesday the 28 April saw the return of bigboy a.k.a Dangerous Dave, basically a climbing nut (check out Mountain Vision) and life long friend. Me and dave are competitive about everything...and drinking certainly ranks as one of the events. I'd got geared up for his return and he'd spent a winter on the source in Saa Fee, Switzerland. However I'd not taken into account that Dave, Loz (ex-Para. PTI and my room mate in Belgium Monestry) + Laura (New Zealand Ski Instructor, along for the ride) had already been on a three day bender across four countries! I put in complete over kill in the way that I always do and ensured I finished the job that 1,000 miles and hundreds of units had already started. 'Turbo Vintos' in the Commercial Rooms followed by being last out of Tinbuk 2 (info on club) as enough to see them off!
Saturday saw the first beneficial flyering expo. (Flyering missions) I set out for The Downs (big park in Bristol - stupid name really cos they're 'Ups'). My tactic was to leave sample book with groups of people and then walk off to another group....created immediate rapport through trust and gave punters time to look and have some meaningful feed back on the book by the time I'd returned. It was all very civil, the sun was out and it was like a BBQ book club every 50 meters or so...that was until I met UWE Womens football team...just back from Cardiff still going on all night all day bender. I was soon in hot water! I commented on the fact that even though they were getting stick from some Downs League mens team for drunkenly invading the pitch that the guy would surely forgive attractive young ladies.
The retort from one of the girls was "yeah, they'd be lucky...we don't do boyz!"
I said "I see, marvelously nether do I"
I should have known! The Meakes (Rover Football Legend) kept clear of Women footballers! In me and the girls where batting for the same side..great! Again rapport with the customer but no sale!
After flyering caught up with some friend at a near-by pub (The Kings Arms on Black Boy Hill, Bristol). Was DJ Joffs and Doorman Magzy joint-bday...the drinks were following and I soon was told a new game (At The Races) and had made my first sale of the day (you can always count on friends!) (see Flyering missions)
Sunday afternoon I headed to UWE's international standard hockey pitch to see Birmingham University Ladies Hockey team take on Durham for a chance to be promoted into Hockey National 1st ...I was in hostile territory @UWE having created some what off a scene at UWE bus stop last Oct when the book was released (CAN I HAVE EVERYONES ATTENTION RIGHT NOW! - shouted from the top of a bin Oct 2008 @UWE as my ex-girlfriend looked on shaking her head!). I had been chased from campus for blatant marketing. Now I was back! Did they know about my recent facebook ad. which had gone out to all UWE students saying "The book your SU (student Union) didn't want you to see"????. I kept a reasonably low profile giving a free copy of The Lash to Laura Bainbridge of the 1st team and University Sport Birmingham key Player....(my thanks also to Philly and Joey how invited me down) + well done to the girls as they won and got promoted!!

Next time Nick does a 15 Hour Spin for Charity, flyers UWE Varsity (meets UWE Women's footy again!), Flyers Propaganda @ Syndicate, all in the run up to a legendary night at The Hill on Sunday 10th May...was it worth it after all?!?
The video will be up on 'cabonca' on Utube soon peeps!

Origins - A Labour of Lash!

This is Nick's first Blog as so I want to introduce how I got myself into this pickle....
I have a book (well I hope you know it now since your on my website!) I believe it's a top guide to drinking games. People always ask me want the USP (unique selling point) of 'The Lash'? No other book give you the insight into the what it really take to boss out a drinking...it's raw and militant!
I came to embody the spirit of The Lash 3 years ago at Birmingham University. People called my asshole alter-ego 'Bobby' (after a particularly cuntish Rugby Union player of the same name)! Nick as Bobby didn't except fines not being taken, he was loud and always on form. Bobby insured that everyone got pissed and that everyone felt included. He really was soft at heart but you'd never want to step out of line when he was in full flow. Bobby learnt his trade playing rugby Union before university in Bristol but his games and demeanor were refined (well corrupted) on Brumski (Uni ski trips) and with Birmingham University Waterpolo Club and BURL (Birmingham University Rugby League) which Nick a.k.a 'Bobby' was 1st team Capt)
At uni I started a list of drinking games just for fun. People soon started to know about this list and so they would come up to me and say "do you have this one?" or "have you heard of that one?"...and so the list grew. After uni finished I didn't get that grad job or do anything deemed a 'proper' job. Instead I worked for an international school in Belgium part-time and when still in England work labour jobs or mindless office jobs.
It was during one of these mindless office jobs for AXA that I started writing a book called 'Nothing Matters More Than The Game". I had it saved as a fake named file on there system and would write it any time that I could, always collapsing it if the boss came passed. It soon became an enormous document over 100,000 words (bear in mind my University dissertation was only 12K). It had got out of hand and I needed to tame the beast, so I decided that I'd try and cut it back making a book comprising of only the best games. Anything that could be got rid of was, and this became 'The Lash'. With enormous help from friends and family, two years after starting the project and as I later found out from my accountant after 8k personal investment (not to mention a loan from my dad) I had a book! The Lash was born in Oct 2008!
Now guys follow my story as attempt to get it noticed...
My goals
To sell 2,000 copies by Jan 2010
To pay back my angry ginger brummy dad a.k.a Psycho Pearcy (errr?...SON!) the 2k he stumped up, as until this is done my Gran will never forgive me!
To realise the crazy dream I had 5 years ago about teaching everyone how to get f**kin battered in a good and honorable way!
It shouldn't be that hard...right?
So follow 'cabonca' on Utube (see the original film)  'WolfridgeLtd' on Twitter and join 'The Lash' facebook group to see how it goes!
Next blog 'Marketing Starts' coming soon....

Marketing Starts for The Lash

You would have thought that I started marketing as soon as the book was published in Oct 2008 but this wasn’t the case. I ran a launch party at Hacienda @ The Stone House (Photos of launch night Oct 2008) which was cool but I had no real plan other than saying “The Lash is here look!”. In any case, the book was selling well because all my friends and family were buying it and it was also the run up to Christmas/New Year. Jan, Feb and March came and went as I had started a new job and getting the work up running was full on.
Therefore Marketing proper started with a trip to London to see Daniel Priestly of Triumphant Events (Triumphant on Facebook) on 24th April 2009. It was at a private club off The Strand. I rocked up like Dick Wittington from the sticks. Convoyed by National Express and in ribbed jeans and pack down jacket I certainly stood out. My sandwiches had split in my bag and gone all over my sample book and business cards. I’d been told to get a drink at the bar whist we waited for the event kick off but at the prospect of a £3.30 coffee I had made a hasty retreat to sip orange squash in the toilet. The talk was on affiliate marketing and was awesome! Load of top advice about free ways to get your product noticed (one being a blog!)! Anyway after that meeting I was resolved to craic-on with emarketing and get the book noticed!
I came home from the marketing talk with ideas of world domination at the click of a button…a Maoist scene everyone holding a copy of The Lash. Unfortunately I returned to reality. No lights in my room, my computer f**t, and my notebook refusing to start after I’d stepped on it the night before whilst drunk and illuminated. (f**t computer) I did have flyers though from my Berlin freelancer, Manoj (I meet Manoj in Bristol when he had been the promoter for Hacienda). He had since fled to the continent but retained his media contacts here in Bristol. I was resolved to make an impact immediately and knew Saturday night I had a ticket for Friendly Fires at Bristol Uni. The event would be packed with potential customers! At the gig I wasn’t interested in what was happening musically I was 'on it' marketing. I got flyers on the top of all the bars and was starting to put them on the façade of the main bar where no one could miss them when I felt a laarge hand on my shoulder. It appear my marketing had one very big fan...the event security! Soon I was outside the event managers office at the behest of the good cop/bad cop of door security duo . I was on a massive climb down, apologizing lots but when bad cop was distracted, I pushed good cop (I still feel bad, but it was necessity) and ran for the exit! Guerrilla marketing had begun!
Next blog Nick gets off his face a Timbuktu, goes to the park and meets football lesbians, learns a new game and spends s**t loads on Facebook ads!