Tuesday 11 August 2009

Brother gets hitched and i get rich!

I've been riding bikes since i was 3 or 4 and during my 20s became miliantly anti-car. I've cycled from Bristol to Spain beefore just for the craic, plus kicked off a few wing mirrors in my time! So it was a monumental day on the 19th July when i finally succumbed and bought a Fiesta, apparently called 'Charlie' (bit weird talking about riding in charlie because i work with one!). I got it off a mate and before seeing it had ideas that it would be a rust bucket...so I'd made tentative enquires with a local graffiti artist to cover it in 'THE LASH' logo! However, to my surprise it turned out to be a little beauty and now i have plans to make it purrrrr by treating it to an oil change and t-cut bath. Check out new car:


Charlie has had an immediate impact on sales as it helped me reach those book shops that were a little too far to cycle to or those in need of more book than i could physically carry. Thus on Tuesday the 21st July I made sales at Waterstones (The Mall), Bloom and Curl (Broadmead) and Booty (Broadmead) on a petrol-driven Bristol sales tour.

The 24th and 25th July was huge for me and the family. I only really reasiled what my brother gettting married meant on the Friday ceremony walk-through. Pretty stirring stuff...to see the fear in a condemned man's eyes (JOKES - my brother is so laid back he's horizontal). I'd been put in charge of organising the bar (never think that being good at drinking qualifies a person to organise a piss up) Check out the booze bus:

Luckily I'm rather militant with organisation aswell, so there was no other hitch than my brother's. I did take the opporunity to use the management of the reception bar as a base from which to sell the book. EVEN ON YOUR BROTHERS WEDDING? yep! Sales is sales! They rolled in and i rolled out of the marquee like the drinking game 'amy-wine-hands'. My rapscallion ways had even taken up part of the best man speach when he said "When Nick came to me and offered me a pint to promote his book I said no way, but then when he offered me 3 pints...(Bestman produces book) "The Lash the bargain of the night is available at the bar!"

The following weekend i spent being Bristol'a'fied (Bristol as a city runs some great civic events for everyone to get battered at!). Harbour Festival Sat 1st Aug - talked crap French and drank green grenades. Balloon Fiesta Sat 8th Aug. Inbetween these events I have a shameful confession. Me and Nate (my housemate) headed out for the opening night of Dubb step vs. Jungle at the Dojo Lounge, Bristol. We found the lash on the way there:


We had arranged to meet Caroline; a girl i got talking to at the harbour fes. She's a teacher in the army who's on leave for a month. To cut a long story short after lots of drinks and dance floor action we ended up at what we thought was her flat. She showed us to the most prestigious spirits cabinet i've ever had the pleasure of witnessing! Then she basically bossed us under the table with a bottle of Jaeger, Raspberry vod. and Sambucca. I can't remember much else other than both me and Dog (Nate) offering our services to her before he passed out holding the toliet as though it was all that stopped him from falling off Everest and i went face down on her lounge floor in my own vom. GREAT! Anyways, it turns out this was her parent's house and they came down to two strangers passed out in their house. One of which (me) had kindly left them a bowl of vommit in the kitchen. Haha! We now refer to Caroline as Ma'am. as she deserves repect when it comes to drinking...I felt like taking all my copies of The Lash round hers and saying "You are now in charge!"

I've organised my year one for the business party - Check it out http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/event.php?eid=110446408940 But between then and now we have the little thing of FRESHERS!