Therefore this is a resumè of a summer led by Lash!
Notable for two Stag dos one in Worcester and one at The Secret Garden Party....Oh and the subsequent weddings!
One I'd describe as a gentleman weekend and the other as three days of dark sadistic debauchery.....both were colored by fancy dress, drinking games and a fixation on smashing in outrageous dance moves.
The Stag in Worcester
Let's cover Worcester, it was late June....wasn't my idea of an ideal location for a Stag do but on the plus side.... my brother lives there so stashing kit was easy. Nevertheless, I had opted to pay for hotel even though could have stayed at my Bros. LESSON 1: always ensure you 100% committed! Having his house near did mean that I could add extreme sports to the stag lash so i decided to dehydrate myself nicely (+ cure my hangover on way back) via cycling from Bristol to Worcester to start the Weekend....all very pleasant! You're thinking: “didn't you go out in Lycra?” Well no, I'd given clothes to my Dad take up....if I had thought about it this was a bad idea if he was buying into the whole Stag banter! However imagination was clearly lacking as to my surprise I turned up and was handed the very clothes I'd given him and not a gimp suit or Alice in Wonderland costume. I did get loads of gay jibs about wearing a wife beater that weekend.....anyway drinking games that were played were Titanic Pg 108 of The Lash (buy The Lash) and the ever present Arrogance Pg 26 (buy The Lash). My highlights were Bushwackers night club where I've never been so mobbed by women plus JP (the stag) winning the shooting in the middle of the Cotswolds dress as a saucey Nun (completely wrong with a massive hairly chest)
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The Secret Garden Party Stag
This was a stroke of genius....all your mates (well, not really mine but I'd been invited along! After what we collectively went through I had made some new ones!) in a mindlessly absurd festival inhabited by fit well spoken and polite women were leisure activities generally were colored by roller disco, mud wrestling, swimming in a lake, swinging off vines into a ball pit (Jungle Massive!), dancing, doing hand stands and behaving like a monkey.....obviously mostly powered and/or in the search of alcohol! We had a group of 20-30 lads, so our camping area (at what is a small unique festival) would have put Xerxes' caravan on the invasion of Greece to shame. Therefore of course i was flying the flag with The Lash 12 ft Banner marking out our place. I did managed to make a few sales in the 30-35 minutes over 3 days my head realized I was in a Cambridgeshire field with a captive party market!
The Stag on the trip was Mr Grubb and I think Jack most accurately described him as a “riot shield” in your face and indestructible! This meant carnage for all involved. On the first day he was dress as a fox, and us, as hunters. We were charged with chasing him around the festival...when caught he was subjected to a funnel (via vuvuzela) and beaten......I found him many hours later like a mangy fox hiding in some random camping area, he had chain marks round his neck and hadn't been to sleep all night...slurring and making friends!!! arrrh....
Some of my favorite moments were Rob naked (well being forced to in front of the whole festival) because his wife to be was phoning him....
Rob coming out dressed as something between Greek warrior and He Man.....
Notable other fancy dress heros were The Joker, Unicorn come Angler Fish and The Crocodile along with to many others to mention....
There was also the Hatter Tea....which needs no explanation here....we like to keep it clean.
All in all a fantastic festival...I strongly recommend for a stag!
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