Unfortunately I'm not as proficient at wedding etiquette....and tend to forget that Weddings are the ones that normal people turn up to. It's not the done thing to do hand stands on the dance floor or licking spirits of peoples faces!
At Weddings if your the wrong side of 25, single + athletic this means your in the armed forces....unfortunately middle class categorization never really work for me ....I work with Kids and publish treatise on Drinking Games. For me no category exists so I'm on the table with the students, wanna be legal killers (usually my cousin Tim) and a bit too young 'do be careful NOT to talk to nick' members of the family. Generally it's a huge over site by the wedding planner! I tend to stir up some overly loud game or instigate high jinx with exactly the type of guests on my table that love it!
At Johns wedding I didn't need to encourage anything I was in Lash heaven...highlights included head stands on the dance floor, doing the lake scene in Dirty Dancing with a Cavalry Officer (me catching him), challenging people to 'Strawpedo-Offs' at the bar, chinning Turbo Vinto with my Dad and chatting up a very busty bar maid behind the tent....after leaving the bar maid (you can imagine just how bad my chat was) I headed to the coach...and then as they say in Sweet Home Alabama 'the music died'.....apparently (I can only recount from other witness statements in the cold light of day) the coach included more sobber people than I, so me rocking-up with two bottles of 'father-of-the-bride-wine' and chinning half at bottle at the front was not a good first introduction to the coach...neither was singing songs that should have been forgotten the day I stepped of my last university sport bus, plus later, offering my dad off for a fight. I really can't remember much as I didn't leave the coach with two bottles of wine (I can deduce that).....I WAS IN DISGRACE! So the next day I made the necessary phone calls to the Groom (who had told me to “shut the fuck up” on the evening but noted that it was funny when you (i.e. me) offered 'Peacy' (my dad) off the coach for a fight). I later wrote a letter of apology to the father of the bride (throwing myself and my family name on their mercy) who was a great sport and wrote back as part of his letter “we were prepared for a degree of high spirits (and weren't disappointed)”. Legend.
At Robs Wedding I realized that I'm actually encouraged to drink by my pariah like status. It's like a two fingers up to the olds/establishment. When there are loads of young people I under achieve on the lash. I was very happy with the drinking games at the pub (thanks to Mel and Jack) where we played Down The River but this left me in no fit state to last out the night and I sloped off into the darkness of the Gloucestershire countryside to walk the three miles back to my parents house. I had offered everyone back to mine...which just before a fantastic groom speech appeared a desperate cry for company in bed! The bestman speech was also classic employing props and a photo of Rob 'the fat mouse' naked at SGP.
I must end by saying that although I'm giving you one sided story here, the other was two fantastic days of memorable moments and all very romantic. YUK!
Please invite me to another I swear I've changed.......!!!
Really?
Next up G and Oli, oh dear!!! I do love to see the look in a mans eyes as they get sent down...haha!
G recently said to me “I want a nice stag do....where I don't have to chin stuff”....I said “don't think you get to decide G”. I then suggested that he'd need to 'Enema' (fluid suppository taken via the anus) some spirits on the Stag....he didn't look happy!
Want to know some games to instigate at a wedding click here
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